• (function() { (function(){function b(g){this.t={};this.tick=function(h,m,f){var n=void 0!=f?f:(new Date).getTime();this.t[h]=[n,m];if(void 0==f)try{window.console.timeStamp("CSI/"+h)}catch(q){}};this.getStartTickTime=function(){return this.t.start[0]};this.tick("start",null,g)}var a;if(window.performance)var e=(a=window.performance.timing)&&a.responseStart;var p=0=c&&(window.jstiming.srt=e-c)}if(a){var d=window.jstiming.load; 0=c&&(d.tick("_wtsrt",void 0,c),d.tick("wtsrt_","_wtsrt",e),d.tick("tbsd_","wtsrt_"))}try{a=null,window.chrome&&window.chrome.csi&&(a=Math.floor(window.chrome.csi().pageT),d&&0=b&&window.jstiming.load.tick("aft")};var k=!1;function l(){k||(k=!0,window.jstiming.load.tick("firstScrollTime"))}window.addEventListener?window.addEventListener("scroll",l,!1):window.attachEvent("onscroll",l); })(); Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

    Tuesday, December 07, 2004

    Raindrops on Roses

    The streets and hills of Southern California are wet once again. The looming grey canopy has spread itself out like a great cozy blanket and the tea kettle steams more often than usual so I can wrap my chilled fingers around a warm mug of something. I love these days.

    This change in weather coupled with a phase of homebodiness has pushed my wandering thoughts inward. I've been thinking about discipline of the spirit and the vocation of motherhood...along with how I can finish the Christmas gifts without Basil climbing up on the chair behind me as I sit at the sewing machine (thank God for naps).

    The discipline thing, I'm realizing, is less of a military-like orderliness of life and more of a constant focusedness within oneself...the constant remembrace of God, as I've heard it referred to. It is more internal and then flows externally. I always tried to make it happen the other way around. Not that I've got it down or anything, I just have another way of approaching it now, which is nice.

    The motherhood thing has been brewing aound in my head for a long time. It's a really big transition from non-mom to mom...I never expected it would be. Learning to devote myself to what I do and see it as important and worthy even though it isn't lauded by the culture or encouraged by High School counselors. Resisting the pressure to slack off is hard...keeping the attitude of serving is even harder.

    I was saying to Aaron the other day that it's funny how thoughts that seem like revelations at one time somehow slowly become integrated into the way we live. I always look back and am surprised at how much change and growth occurs without my even feeling it. I guess realizing something is half the battle...along with work and the incredible Grace of God, of course.

    Life is a funny journey at every turn, that's for sure.

    0 Comments:

    Post a Comment

    << Home


    babies